no sign of that email.

and so it is, google is fallible! I hereby deny that i ever said they would take over the world. Long Live Sony instead.*

*ts&cs apply.

but yes, i can only assume the party was fun. Vodka or bed? The inevitable question.
Watched some videos on facebook, the state of you and your tent and by the way, it's official...Nicholas is the single most adorable creature ever placed onto this fine earth except for your wonderful self.
There's some powerful genetics at work there.

keep meting people i don't want to talk to. Every single day i reminder that I don't want to be here. That I want to see your mighty steed, and sample the shittest guinness imaginable in O'Malley's and work supremely hard on making Neale confused about whether he likes me or not and just holding you, and staring at you when you look away and pretending to not be when you turn back...and then sometimes not even pretending so you do that awkward little smile/laugh and ask "what" and I make some smartass quip or just say nothing and keep looking and you ask again...

I was thinking about the night I analyzed you, that was the conversation I couldn't remember. That was when I really knew I was going to fight so hard for you. I really didn't give you a choice.

I'll tell you about kevin, the guy I met when I see you but when he saw her, the one, in a nightclub 33 years ago he walked up to her, a teetotal street boxer, and put 20p (about 10 euro now) in her hand and clasped it. He smiled and walked back to his mates.

She came, and she asked what was it for?
he said to call her mother because she wasn't going home tonight.

He told me that if you show power, they will follow.
He said this with tears in his eyes.

That's what i did. Took control of your attention and did what i'm good at, reading people and I essentially found what you were looking for and pretty much told you it was me, without saying it in so many words...like that looking for your glasses when they're on your head thing.

I have yet to not be excited about being right.

Kevin was an IRA man, watched his brother shot outside hishouse in the Bogside in Derry, and he was involved in drive by shootings and stuff. He was caught in london, 8 months into his relationship.

Got sent down for 9 years for membership of an illegal organisation.

Her dad was a Colonel in the british army who constantly campaigned to get him early release. She waited.

3 years in, she visited him and said her dad was doing all this fighting.
He said "am I supposed to be fucking grateful?"
she cried and said she understood that he hated her, for being english and the reason he was in prison, and hated her family for being in the army.
he said don't be stupid.
you're the only thing that's kept me going.

She said she knew that If he renounced the IRA and pledged allegiance to the queen, he could have been out after 6 months. He wouldn't and she didn't care. She understood why and how important it was.

he was released after 4 and a half years.
6 months later they married. As his vows, he renounced the IRA.

He's a millionare twice over having thereafter started a trucking company...within 3 years he had a fleet. just sold his business and his house because in october. she died of a heart attack.

he drank himself stupid for two weeks and had one himself. he proudly flashes his pacemaker scar.
this coming summer, they were going to buy a honda goldwing camper van and travel europe before settling in Salut in Spain.

He's moving to spain, everything is sorted. He's even bought the honda goldwing to make some stops on his way...

that was love.

I felt luckier than I've evern thought i could while he was living his stories through my laughs, gasps and quickly-wiped-away tears because maybe we don't have drama to that degree, i would go through all of it knowing you were on the other side.

trekking through a desert or up the himalayas doesn't faze me any more than nailing a new card trick or relearning the texas coin shuffle. you are it.

the story i will tell to our grandkids after they marvel at a bird or ask a silly question about space or kangaroos or whatever.

all the wisdom in the world couldn't have prepared me for this. There is no manual, user guide or guarantee...except mine.

I love you.